Welcome to our home!

Let’s take a moment for introductions. My name is Darlene and I am the “wordy” one. My husband of 27 years, Brian and I live in Ohio, USA. Together, we are passionate followers of Yeshua Messiah who is the foundation of our faith.

If we could, we would sit down with you at our dining room table and share in some hot chamomile or lemon balm tea. We are much more interested to hear about you, than to share about ourselves. Yet relationship is the knowing of and being known by others. So bear with us as we attempt to “personalize” ourselves so help you “know” us a bit better.

For those who wish to participate in conversations with us and others, simply select the “Conversations” tab and join the forum.

Together, my husband and I honor Yehovah’s sabbath each week as well as the annual spring and fall feasts that He has commanded be observed. The spring feasts are now a remembrance of Yeshua Messiah’s first coming and His completion of Torah (the law) through his sinless live, death (to atone for our sins), burial, and resurrection. The fulfillment of the fall feasts are yet to occur and will be complete at His second coming.

We believe that the salvation of humanity is only provided through Yeshua Messiah.

“יהושע [Yeshua (Jesus)] said to him, “I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life.
No one comes to the Father except through Me.”
~ John 14:6 ~

Brian’s Story ~

Born in Washington state, I am the second born among five biological siblings. When I was 16 years old, my family moved to Alaska. After, I left for college, my parents began the process of adopting children, over the years they adopted eight girls.

Most of my life I believed that I had been brought up in a wonderful Christian home. At least that was what people would have observed while we were at church. Sunday church was always a regular part of our weekly family tradition. Actually, any time the church was open, we were there. Something I never thought of as a young person was to question the role of church in my life. It was a relief from my experience at home. Still, It never occurred to me that my secret family life was anything other than normal. The first son was the “golden” child, but me, I was always in his shadows. I never measured up.

At five years old I distinctly remember praying to “accept Jesus into my heart”. This was a very real experience for me. While some people say that children cannot know what they are doing at that young age, I did. The alone-ness I was experiencing in my little world, separate even from my siblings, was crushing me, but from that time on, Yeshua was a part of my life. He understood me when nobody else would.

As an adult, I struggled with always second-guessing myself. I could never find a place of confidence in who I was or my abilities. This affected me at work and in my personal life. I desired to lead, but struggled to do so.

I was unable to find a mutually beneficial relationship that would meet my needs. Needs? I didn’t even know what they were. I did not understand that my unmet needs were connected to my development throughout childhood. If someone else was pleased, well then, I must be okay. Those early patterns repeat. In the end, I was left devastated and alone. A familiar place that I had always known.

Much later, I began to learn that the “alone” was not just an external thing. To protect myself as a child, I constructed a wall around my heart. I had believed that a wall would bring protection to my innermost self. I did not know that God desired to be my protection. So, believing a lie, I began to devise a wall within. The wall seemed to work to keep others at bay. Yet as an adult, by the grace of God, I finally realized that it served a dual purpose. To protect, which was what I thought I needed to survive, and to isolate. I ended up alone. Trapped within myself.

This poem is a reflection of this realization:

The Wall of Protection Built Around My Heart

The wall of protection around my heart.
Did its job from the start.
It kept people from getting close.
Because I felt that I was gross.
It kept me from getting hurt.
When I saw myself as dirt.

Then I found out the wall around my heart.
The wall that was so great at the start.
The wall was a prison for my heart.
Deceived by the enemy from the start.
I helped the enemy wall up my heart.
Designed to keep God walled out of my heart.

Fear not my friends so dear.
God has something He wants you to hear.
The wall around your heart was built.
With blocks of shame, isolation, fear and guilt.
There is a way to remove this wall.
It is to forgive everyone of everything big and small.

Written by Brian Jorgens July 27, 2006

This was only the beginning of my journey out of darkness. The memories finally began to return years later. It was then that I learned that the men in my family had for many generations, been enmeshed in polytheistic worship within a patriarchal Norse family cult.

“God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness”
~ Genesis 1:4 ~

By God’s grace, I survived the childhood abuse, but it was Jesus alone who brought healing and wholeness to my broken heart. The wall has been dismantled, and I am now living as a free son of God, my Father in heaven. My heart’s desire is to give back to my Creator by helping other men find their wholeness in Jesus. To provide a safe space for them to remember, and a safe relationship for them to heal.

“For You are my lamp, LORD; And the LORD illuminates my darkness“
~ 2 Samuel 22:29 ~

Darlene’s Story ~

Raised in upstate New York, as the youngest of five siblings, I was an extremely sensitive child. Too sensitive. My mother’s disapproving looks would invoke fear which would send me into an internal chaos and instability from which I could not escape. I survived by striving to be perfect, and funny. Humor served to redirect the harsh expectations I could not meet. Later on, as I grew older, humor became twisted and weaponized in the form of sarcasm.

Many years later, in my mid 30s I discovered that I held a core belief that I was “inherently defective”. Well, that explained a lot. Plagued with deep-seated insecurity, my teenage rebellion, and a perfectionism that always left me wallowing in failure no matter how well I actually performed. I did not recognize why I did some of the “less-than-honorable” things that I did. I was weak and broken inside.

While I grew up to be a “good citizen”, hard worker, and intelligent; never did anyone recognize the daily torment I endured within. There were times I despaired of life and once as a 17-year-old in my college dorm room even cried out, “God, did you create me to torment me?” I really didn’t know who God was. I had no idea that my own beliefs, and my choice to sin were what made my life void, empty, and without peace. It would take another three years before I would come to understand that I desperately needed a Savior, that my religious belief that “Jesus died for the sins of the world” was not enough. It had no power to change the problem, me.

Around that time, mostly out of curiosity, I began to listen to a Christian radio station while I was at work. One day a song played and my thoughts seemed to take on a life of their own. The song was named “Tomorrow” and The words of the song that grabbed my attention, were:

Tomorrow

Jesus said, “Here I stand won’t you please let me in” and you said, “I will tomorrow”
Jesus said, “I am He who supplies all your needs” And you said, “I know but tomorrow”

Tomorrow, I’ll give my life tomorrow, I thought about today
But it’s so much easier to say
Tomorrow, who promised you tomorrow
Better choose the Lord today
For tomorrow very well might be today

Jesus said, “Here I stand won’t you please take my hand” And you said, “I will tomorrow”
Jesus said, “I am He Who supplies all your needs” and you said, “I know but tomorrow”

Tomorrow, I’ll give my life tomorrow, I thought about today
But it’s so much easier to say
Tomorrow, Who promised you tomorrow, better choose the Lord today
For tomorrow very well may be today

And who said that tomorrow would ever come for you
Still you laugh and play and continue on to say
Tomorrow, forget about tomorrow
Won’t you give your life today

Oh please, don’t just turn and walk away
Tomorrow, tomorrow is not promised
Don’t let this moment slip away, ooh
Your tomorrow could very well be here today

Words & Music by The Winans

My eyes had flooded with tears. My heart, overwhelmed with urgency. It was only later that I would understand this urgency that was impressed upon me by the Holy Spirit was called “conviction”. Although I didn’t hear an audible voice, the words of the song took on a life of their own and then faded away. Yet the message in my heart rang clear. I had to make a decision and I knew what God wanted me to do.

“Now is the time.”

Within my mind, I reasoned, “Well, I’ve tried everything else and nothing has ‘worked’. If this (giving my life to Jesus ‘thing’) doesn’t work then I’m no worse off than I am now, but if it does, if it’s the truth, then I’ve gained everything.”

“Make your decision.”

The date was March 8th, 1986, and now 40 years later, I remember that moment as fresh as the day it happened. . I assure you. Since that time I have indeed “gained everything”.

This was beginning of my journey as a disciple of the Messiah, Jesus Christ. While my initial decision to follow the teachings of Jesus was self-centered. That would quickly change when I began to read the Bible and learn about Him. The powerful words I read in the pages would further “convict me”. I began to make amends for things I had done that the Bible said were sin. I began to recognize the way God spoke to me and become obedient to Him. My love and commitment to Jesus deepened.

Yet still there was emotional pain in the depths of my soul. Daily, I cried out to Jesus, my Saviour, especially in the quiet time of the night. Repenting for my sins, but feeling hopeless that my brokenness could be healed. This wasn’t in the sermons preached every week. Except that I knew Jesus was and always is the Answer. Yet I was tormented at night, and struggled to receive His love. Peaceful rest for my soul seemed so far away. So intangible.

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
~ Matthew 11:28-30 ~

Music was a catalyst in my healing process. A way to pour out my heart in prayer to God. In turn, somehow He has taken songs birth out of my personal brokenness and turned them into songs of victory and rejoicing, worship and praise unto my King, my Creator, My Savior, my Master. “Miracle” is the first song I prayed when as a new believer after I picked up my long-forgotten guitar and began to sing…

My personal healing for the woundedness of my soul came about slowly, over many years. Here a little, there a little. It was imperative that I learned of Jesus, of His words, His ways, and through obedience to follow Him. The Holy Spirit has since led me through a process of learning to lay down my ways, my thoughts, and my offenses. From there, He has faithfully led me into great peace and through His word He brought me to a place of rest for my soul. My journey was purposeful that I would learn certain things and that I would learn to lean upon Jesus, for He is the Light of the world. He alone knows the way out of darkness.

“Then Jesus again spoke to them, saying, “I am the Light of the world; the one who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life.”
~ John 8:12 ~

So here we are today, Brian and I. Together, our hearts cleave to Jesus, our Messiah. In obedience to Him we bring a message healing, deliverance, truth, hope, and the name of Jesus in Hebrew. “Yeshua” – in whom exists Salvation, Deliverance, Prosperity and Health for all who have ears to hear.

May HIs peace rest upon those whose hearts seek to know Him and be known by Him in Spirit and in Truth.

Brian & Darlene